May 4, 2015

April Goal Recap

April was a blur it seems. Only two posts here on SS Jess, and now all of a sudden it's May. And it's 80 degrees outside, and the first round of summer clothing has made a bold takeover in my retail job.

I was so stressed out last month. I had a handful of big emotional breakdowns. You know, in high school when you're dating, if you and your boyfriend break up it's like the end of the world. Having your heart broken for the first time is one of the absolute worst feelings, and it's so much worse if it happens in high school because you're immature and terrible at getting a grip on your emotions. Last month though, I experienced negative emotions that were so much worse than my high school break ups. Even though my break up sadness made me feel paralyzed and alone, I still always knew that I would eventually get over it at some point. But last month, I wasn't sure if I would ever get out of the awful black hole I had fallen into. In high school I felt alone, but last month I felt helpless. And I've decided that helpless is so much worse than alone.

But I am so ecstatic to say that...

I finally found a job!!!

I'm an administrative assistant at a country club! It's not glamorous, and it's not exactly public relations. But I feel like it's the perfect first stepping stone for my working life. The atmosphere is so laid back, which is not at all what you'd expect at a country club, and I can see where I can grow as a career woman. I'm already being asked to contribute to things that your typical admin. assistant probably wouldn't do, and my higher-ups want to find tasks for me that are relevant to my degree. They see my potential, and they want to help me to succeed. They want to capitalize on my knowledge and my skills. The confidence they have in me is pulling out the confidence that I have in myself, which I thought I'd lost for a while.

It's a huge relief to know that I don't have to spend hours looking for and applying to jobs anymore. I'm happy that I can treat myself to a pool day or to a binge of my favorite TV shows without feeling guilty. I'm excited to finally have an income! My mom can finally stop supporting me, and I can really start saving for future vacations and big expenses. I literally just started this job, and I haven't even gotten my first paycheck yet, but I already feel like the heaviest weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I can breathe!

Here's to no longer floating!